How To Raise A Reader

3 ways to get your kid to pick up that freakin' book already

A few months ago, I published a post with the title, “Why Isn’t Your Kid Reading Anymore?” It turned into one of my most popular things on Substack. Today’s piece is in a similar vein. It’s about kids and reading. But it’s a little more prescriptive, offering some real world tips that you can adopt in your own house to try to get your kid to finally pick up that book they’ve been ignoring.

Enjoy!

From The New York Times

When fellow parents find out I write kids’ books, they often follow up by saying one of three things:

1. “My kids LOVE reading! They’ll finish an entire book in a single day! I’m so jealous! They can knock out a three-book series in a weekend! It’s amazing!” Or they’ll say...

2. “I can’t get my kids to read. I’ve tried and tried, but they just don’t care about books.” Or they’ll say...

3. “Sir, please don’t talk. We’re trying to clean your teeth.”

(That last one mostly comes up when I’m at the dentist.)

But I think #1 and #2 are instructive. They illustrate the divide that exists when it comes to kids’ reading habits. There are the super readers. The book junkies. Kids who—despite a world of endless digital distractions—display the kind of concentration and dedication to books that, honestly, a lot of us adults probably wish we possessed.

And then there are the other kids. The one who just have no interest whatsoever in books. Maybe they’ll pick up one of those Dog Man books every once in a while. Or they’ll flip through Manga comics. Something with lots of pictures. Ifthat. But mostly, they just aren’t into books.

Like everything else in the world, society is divided.

Why do certain kids become readers, when others don’t?

That’s the subject of today’s post, folks. If you hate children and disapprove of reading, go ahead and close this email now, you monster. But if you actually care about future generations and don’t want to see books go extinct, keep reading.

3 Ways To Raise A Reader

These are suggestions for ALL stages of a kid’s life: From tiny poopy babies to angry, resentful teens.

#1: Create a reading-friendly environment

This one seems obvious. Children who grow up in homes with lots of books are probably going to end up reading more than those who don’t. Duh. Let’s move on.

WAIT!!!

WE’RE NOT DONE HERE YET!!!!

Yes, there are lots of benefits to having books around in the home. And not just because kids end up more excited about reading. According to a study from the journal Social Science Research, raising a child in a home filled with books positively impacts their future academic growth and job attainment. Want your kid to do well in life? Keep a lot of books around.

One of the first things my wife and I did when we moved into our new house was to have a handy carpenter guy build us some big gorgeous built-in bookshelves in our living room. It wasn’t cheap, but it’s now my favorite thing about our house.

Oooh, pretty.

The bottom row is entirely felt boxes filled with toys and stuffed animals and whatever random plastic crap our kids receive in birthday goody bags and then immediately forget.

But the next row up...that shelf is entirely devoted to kids’ books. It’s right there close to eye level. We’ll be hanging out and our daughters will just randomly grab some book off the shelf and shove it in our face and command, “READ IT!” Or if we’re not around, they’ll slump down on the couch and start flipping through it themselves. Our 4-year-old can’t read, but just the act of holding a physical book and looking at the pictures is wonderful. She’s already forming that connection.

But it’s not only about owning books. It’s about creating an environment where reading is valued. This, to me, is something that often gets overlooked. Let’s say you have a big bookcase in your living room, but every time your kid looks over at you, you’re staring at your phone. You’re projecting a certain message to your child, and that message is: “These books are purely decorative. We probably bought them by the yard so we could look smart or whatever. But the real interesting stuff is here inside my phone. And that’s why reading isn’t important, Madison.”

(Your kid’s name is Madison now. Deal with it.)

Here are some practical things my wife and I do to ensure that our kids see us reading:

1) Creating a (mostly) phone-free zone. When the kids are around, our phones aren’t. That’s the basic rule. Sometimes, we cheat. I’ll stand up and loudly announce, “Daddy’s gotta take another dump!” before marching off to the bathroom to play Wordle. Yes, I’m ignoring my family. And sure, they probably think I have some gastrointestinal issues. But at least they’re not seeing me ON my phone.

Just a joke, people! I don’t really do that. Much. But we do really try to stay off our phones as much as possible. The only exception is when we’re together, with our kids, sharing the phone to look at photos or videos of the family. In which case, it’s a group activity, and we don’t let it go on too long.

2) No e-readers or iPads either. Yes, I know you can read books and journalism on your Kindle or iPad. But when your kid looks over and sees you staring at your e-reader, they have no idea you’re reading War And Peace. (Haha, just kidding, you’re probably reading romantasy smut about dragon-riders who bang.) All they see is you staring at a screen. This is what we want to avoid. Also, this is just a personal thing, but I’ve always preferred the feeling of a book in my hand. The text printed on actual paper. I find it nicer than holding a device. Which leads to the third point.

3) Keep print magazines and newspapers around. I’ll admit, this might not be for everyone. Most people have gotten out of the habit of reading journalism on an actual page. Also—these subscriptions can be friggin’ expensive. But for us, at least, it’s important. It goes back to #1 and #2. Avoiding screens. We subscribe to a German newspaper and a couple of English-language magazines. Print editions. It takes a bite out of our budget, but it means we don’t have to read them on our phones. Just one more way we try to project the importance of reading to our kids.

Alright. So there you have it. Create an environment where books are available. And then let your kids see you reading something that was printed on actual paper.

The other important thing you can do if you want to create a lifelong reader is...

#2: Spend time reading to kids. But also spend time reading WITH kids.

You might be wondering about the difference between these two things. I just typed the sentence and, honestly, I’m starting to feel a little iffy on what it means.

So let me get more specific.

We all know there are tons of cognitive benefits to reading to children, starting in infancy. You’re building up their language pathways and exposing them to new words. As they get older, you can introduce them to more advanced books. Early reader books. Big novels. You’re expanding their concentration skills and their sense of imagination.

Plus, it’s just a wonderful way to bond with a kid. I’m reading the Harry Potter series with my 7-year-old daughter (we’re up to book #3) and it’s something we both look forward to every single day. This shared daddy-daughter thing. Curling up on the couch on a Saturday or lying in bed together before bedtime. It’s the best.

So, that’s reading TO a kid. What about the other thing I mentioned above? Reading WITH kids? What’s the difference?

I’d lay it out like this:

When you read TO a kid, you’re reading the book aloud while your child listens.

When you read WITH a kid, you’re reading a book while your kid ALSO reads a book. Somewhere nearby. At the same time.

You hear a lot about the first one. Parenting experts and literacy advocates never get tired of telling us how important it is to read to our children.

But somehow, they never talk about the importance of reading WITH kids. It’s as if the moment kids are able to read for themselves, our job as parents is done. We can all dust off our hands, grab a beer, and take the next couple of years off. At least until they start dating. Then we’re back on duty.

But there’s something so nice about reading with kids. Turning it into a family activity. Making it a thing we do together.

When you’re reading TO a kid, it’s usually at home. Often in their bed. Where they will hopefully drift off to sleep so that Mommy and Daddy can finally watch Love Is Blind, please for the love of God!

But when you’re reading WITH kids, it’s different. It’s less connected to bedtime. Which means you can take the fun outside of the house. This leads us to our third and final suggestion:

#3: Make Reading An Experience

One of my favorite memories from my own childhood is going to bookstores with my family. My parents, my brother, me. We’d all go to the Barnes & Noble in town. Grab some books and magazines off the shelf. Order some drinks and a cookie. And then...we’d just...read. For hours.

In between breaks for chatting and trips to the bathroom, we’d each have our heads down in our books. Sometimes, one of us would wander off to explore the shelves, then show up a few minutes later with a new stack of books.

And now, I’d like to take this moment to apologize to David Sedaris. I read the entirety of Me Talk Pretty One Day on successive visits to Barnes & Noble without ever buying the book.

Sorry, David

We would even make road trips out of our bookstore obsession. On a weekend, we’d pile into the car and make the two-and-a-half-hour road to Austin, home to one of the best bookstores on Planet Earth: Book People. We’d get lost in the enormous space, exploring the maze of book-filled shelves. We’d do other things in Austin. It’s a cool town. But Book People was always the epicenter of our trip.

In other words, reading became an experience.

There are lots of other ways to turn reading into an experience. If you have younger kids, check out the events calendar for your local library. If they’re a bit older, maybe an author is having a book signing at the local bookstore. You can grab your books and go to a park or a café. The goal is to make books the core of whatever fun thing you’re doing.

Welp, that’s it, folks. My expert advice on how to raise a reader. If you’re looking for fun books to share with a young reader in your life, might I suggest checking out acclaimed middle grade author Lee Bacon, who has written several hit books for children and who also happens to be me.

I’ve written stories about supervillains, fantasy worlds, imaginary friends, robots, and other robots. Find out more by heading over to my website.

Thanks so much for reading! See you again soon!

Lee